I'm actually enjoying medical school. It's amazing. I used to bitch about labs, reading up, prelabs, everything. I used to fall asleep in every second lecture - especially when they are 8 am ones - but although I have 3 such starts this semester, I haven't fallen asleep in a single one. And - wait for it - I'm actually TAKING NOTES in the lectures where I am awake, as opposed to simply sitting there and stoning, which is usually followed up the answer "I didn't notice" to the question "what was that lecture about?". I am amazing myself. I'm actually vaguely keeping on top of my work.

It's really heartening to remember why I'm in this, and remembering that I do really enjoy all this organised mess. Having some structure to work with again, working with all my friends, laughing at old jokes and retelling stories that everyone's heard at least 20 times over. Joking about who parties the most and who was the culprit that finished that bottle of wine. Sitting in the Ref munching on what looked vaguely like lunch this morning, but now simply looks more like yellow mush.

I love life, with all its moments and embarassments, complete with all those intricacies and confusions. With goals and obstructions. It's what makes it worth living.

It's when you realise that you're not in this for the degree, or even the money it'll bring you at a later date. You realise that medical school is about learning to deal with real people, it's about experiencing life with your friends and leaving university with stories to tell. It's about life lessons and obsessing about Scrubs and Grey's Anatomy.

It becomes your life. Eventually. Whether you like it or not.